Here We Go...Again

Exciting times are happening as my husband and I are awaiting the arrival of our second little boy! Not only am I welcoming a new little one, but my best friend (Katelyn) since 9th grade welcomed a second little girl and my sister-in-law (Jade) and brother just welcomed a third baby. Babies seem to be everywhere right now. I thought this would be a good time to ask advice of these two repeat parents and share the information with anyone else out there who is nervous about adding another baby to the family.

When asked about the difference in preparing for a first baby versus a second Katelyn explained that with the first baby she was knew her pregnancy down to the day and she had a lot of nerves. With the second baby she felt more prepared and since she was having another girl they already had all the baby essentials ready to go. Similarly, Jade explained that with her first baby she felt stressed trying to get everything ready months before the baby was to arrive, but by the third baby they had knowledge about what was essential and the preparation was much more smooth.

One of my biggest worries includes how my first born will adjust to the new baby. Jade stated that when the had their second child they talked a lot with their oldest about how things were going to be different and what it would be like. As they prepared for the third baby the first child (primary school aged) already knew what to expect and the second child (young toddler) was not able to fully understand what was going on until the baby came home. Katelyn was in a similar situation in that her first born was too young (one year old) to understand the concept of mommy having a baby until the baby arrived. She explained that they most tried to teach her the idea of being "gentle" so that when the baby was here she would know what was expected.

It's important to remember that every labor is different from mother to mother and from baby to baby. These two super moms were lucky enough to share that their subsequent pregnancies were less stressful and more smooth. Katelyn's labor progressed more quickly which allowed her a better chance to enjoy her new bundle of joy since she wasn't as exhausted as the first time. Jade pointed out that by the third time around she knew more of what to expect which helped ease her worries and take away a lot of stress.

When it comes to how these two families are adapting now that they are home, their responses made me hopeful. Jade truthfully explained that having a third child has definitely been more stressful but the extra little blessing makes it all worth it. She stated that their main focus "has been working to find a way to make everyone feel loved and cared for". Katelyn says that while the transition can be difficult at times and their plans for how it would go did have to change, she has been overwhelmed by seeing her oldest step up into the big sister role. She talked about how she has watched her oldest show kindness and love to her new sister. Katelyn also mentioned that "you are elbow deep in dirty diapers most of the time", but that "the rewards outweigh the hardships".

Finally, I asked the two moms to share advice with other parents who are adding another blessing to their family. Jade explained the importance in spending one on one time with each child in the family. She made a point about how much extra time and attention new babies need and especially with younger children it is hard for them to understand all of the changes happening. Katelyn's advice was to not be too hard on yourself. She explained that things have been different with her second baby versus her first baby, but that "the fact is that the situations and the babies are so different". She wanted to remind other mothers that it's okay to try different techniques and to allow yourself time to figure it all out.

Thank you Jade and Katelyn for sharing your experiences with us! Hearing from these two moms, whom I'm very close to, helped ease some of my worries about welcoming baby #2. I hope their advice has helped you as well if you are expecting a sweet baby or considering adding a baby to your family. Always remember that there are a million different ways to parent and it's important to have a support system as you go through the ups and downs of motherhood. You are doing a great job, keep it up!